Wardrobe Misdirection

What to wear on the trip is on my mind. Weather wise, Egypt is only a little warmer (70s) than Utah’s been lately—I’m not being sarcastic, Utah’s been unseasonably warm—but this isn’t my main concern. I need to pack clothes considering this: (quoting my program manual) “Because Egypt is a Muslim country, dress should be conservative and women should not wear revealing clothes, particularly when in religious buildings and in towns.”(So, that tube top and those low riders that show my thong are out (just kidding, you should know I don’t dress like that))

“Western women should expect a fairly high level of verbal harassment in the street, and this will only be increased by bare arms, uncovered calves or eye contact.” (So, I’m shooting for looking at what? Collar bones? Feet?)

“Comfortable, casual clothing in natural, “breathable” fabrics is a good idea.” (Um, yeah—I’ll be crawling around tombs in the desert, while I’m doing the tourist thing.)

“While there is a lot of leeway for foreigners, dress is generally more formal than in the West. Suits should be worn for business meetings and smart casual is the rule for social occasions.” (And yes, I’ll be in meetings. Oh, and I’m a lunch lady; in my business, I wear jeans, an apron, and a hairnet—time to go shopping. Whoo-hoo!—Oh, I mean, of all the luck, dang it.)

“You should travel with a maximum of 44 lbs total checked baggage . . .”—so bringing my entire wardrobe is out, if I want room for souvenirs.

If I’m covered in dust and wearing my cute new pinstripe slacks in my upcoming pictures, you’ll know why.